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The Imperfect Perfectionist: Valentine Cheater Schedule

posted Feb 7, 2011, 7:15 PM by Kristin Mastromarino Vander Wiede
February 7th, 2011 | Author: Wendy
Right off the top I am admitting it. I AM NOT A GOOD VALENTINE MOTHER.

The good news about Valetines Day this year is that my youngest can finally sign his own Valentines. I have had 15 years of picking between Scooby Doo, Star Wars, Fun Dip, Sponge Bob and Cinderella.

“Mom I want Scooby Doo.”

“Now are you sure, absolutely sure, because once we leave we aren’t coming back.

Ten minutes later in the car……

“Mom, we have to go back! I wanted Sponge Bob not Scooby Doo. The girls won’t like Scooby Doo.”

Initially, we would get the cards home and I would have this great idea that my five year old would sign all thirty of their own valentines. This way they could show off their printing prowess. It didn’t take long to realize they had no printing prowess, they were 5.

The first one usually went ok.

“Good Job honey. No no, I am sure they will know who it is from. The next time you might want to sign on the side without the picture and put all the letters in your name. ”

By the second one,  ”OK now remember, Mommy said you have to put the B before the i and write it on the side that is blank.”

The third, “Listen, are you stupid, what is so hard about B comes before i?”

By the fifth, I was banging my  head against the kitchen table thinking that special ed classes were in my future.

Inevitably, I would take over and finish trying to make it look like they signed them and by the end I was just ripping them off in cursive, thinking hey they never care who they are from, just as long as candy is attached.

Then we would attach a treat and move on to make the 75 cupcakes (25 per class) decorated with hearts and candy.  When I had my fourth, I decided to let all the other clever moms bake the cupcakes. After all, who was I to steal someone else’s thunder?

Years later, I have reverted to persuading my older kids how much fun it would be to help their younger sibling with their valentines and I use any prepackaged treat.

Ahhh, liberation at last…..